Let my Story Hold You ♥

Chances

2011-03-17T21:03:00.001-07:00

I love you

but it’s not so easy to make you here with me

But you’re still in my dream.

When you hold your love,

don’t ever let it go or you will loose your chance

to make your dreams come true.

I hope i have a chance to watch you from a distance and i knew you realized

I was looking for a time to get closer at least to say… “HELLO”

I never thought that I’m so strong cuz'

i had stuck on you and waited for so long.

I hoped that my dreams will come true (:

没什么大不了

2010-12-17T04:36:00.000-08:00

我发现，

我已恢复自由者的身份。

是比预计的还快。

看来我有的还是青春，

而这一次，

我将我拥有的，

好好地挥霍。

告诉你，

我和你真的没什么大不了的。

像你说的，

"Don't take it so serious."

别见了

2010-11-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

向她说的，
我们之间已无电交流，
只是浪费时间.

我们下不了的约定，
就当作没有计划过，
让它无声无味地消失吧.

这不是电影里，
铺成好的情节，
在故事的尾段，
我们过着幸福快乐的生活.

所以，
我们还是别见好了.

I tell myself : "No use crying over spilt milk. I just stop being sad and make my life awesome instead."

答案 Answer

2010-11-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

那看似
像个听觉的答案，
是个有深度
和了解的感觉答案。
It's for your ears.
But yours to feel and understand.

你听到的，
使你哽咽。
可是，
你感觉到的，
是你落泪。
What you hear,
kills your breath.
But when you approach it,
it drains your tears.

心里的平衡，
是忐忑，
是黑暗。
Inner unbalance
is unstable and dark.

但你可否曾想过，
有答案的人，
早已无法哽咽
或落泪？
But have you ever thought that,
those with answers,
had stopped breathing,
and crying without tears?

有些答案，
就隔着，
让它自生自灭吧！
Some answers,
better let it be,
and never been told.

Get Over It

2010-11-22T06:37:00.000-08:00

Days without you,

bring me back to normal.

Stop me from thinking,

that we are possible.

Your words had so much impact on me.

So much that I barely could breathe when we talked.

You said I'm naive, inexperienced.

And I admitted that, even now.

But in the end,

you are neither mature nor prepared.

Yes.

It is hard.

And we did try,

just that it's one of those fruitless turn-on.

认清事实

2010-09-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

我告诉自己，

会离开你的人

是不珍惜你的人。

他要走，

就让他走。

或许这样你才能

辨认，

认清，

一些事实。

合不来，

谈不来，

分开始终是对的。

所以你别等了。

因为珍惜你的人，

在别处呢。

说不出的爱

2010-07-31T04:24:00.000-07:00

在你面前、

隐藏不了我真实的懦弱、

打从心底说不出的爱、

怕说了会伤了你的心、

勇敢铁着心避开手机电脑、

尝试把强烈的感情吞下、

有时失败了就以自怜的方式、

给于自己跟多力量来等你、

思念你的夜里无奈无法失措、

因为爱你而你却沉默不过问、

想对你打个招呼、

又担心你会误解我的关心.

Nights

2010-04-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

You know,

life suddenly becomes so boring

when you leave me. .

i try to catch you back,
try to retrieve those memories. .
line by line,
of what you've said to me. .

you every single smile,
there are very adorable. .
very...

time is all i need,
give me time,
then maybe possibility grows?

tons of thoughts
that kept inside of me,
i do not know when i can tell you. .

coz' you always turn me down,
switch me off. .

sometimes,
i think i put in too much effort,
trying to float above our problems. .

yes
i do admit. .
why you choose to leave. .

that big difference in both lives,
i know i can never chase you up. .
the gap,
is where we are lost in. .

you know,
every night,
i think. .

i think that maybe some other night
you can be right beside me.
coz' all i know for now is that,
you are the only one i can pour my love on. .

now i am here,
proving i can live on my own,
proving what i tell you of being a good student,
proving that i am not scared of this place i am in,
proving to you that when i see you again,
i am fully ready. .

to be honest,
everytime when i start to drink,
it just reminds me of you,
in the car,
with that face of disagreement. .

a bad boy,
you will say. .

there is one thing,
just very one thing
i will ponder for,
ever since that day of separation
do you think of me again?

nights
quiet nights,
winter comes,
soon snow follows. .

and when snow comes
can your smile warm my nights?

Hmmmm. . ?

2009-11-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

Right. . . People have been buzzing me, saying why am I gone for so long and am I quiting this blog?

The answer is - NO! I am not quiting but resting coz' I do not know why after I got here, all my inspirations have gone and even if I did, it's all about how love could manipulate our feelings in different conditions rather than my recent updates. And negative comments too. . Sigh. . There is one thing about blogging my recent updates - too much pictures to upload. . But I think before that, I will change my blog header and footer with complete fresh look *I think* So yeah~ Give me some more time to prepare and start all over again with new ideas and new posts : )

Classic

2009-10-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

What if Romeo did not die with Juliet?
What if Prince Charming did not find Cinderella?
What if Sleeping Beauty kept on sleeping?
What if Snow White was not kissed by the Prince?

... would the ending be different?

So hard that I finally got over someone that I got attracted, someone came in without knocking. . This one shared a lot of similarities to the previous one. . I got tired of figuring if I would treat it as a substitute coz' I was really afraid to lose hope again before I was ready for everything. .

Waiting,
is the most classic act. .

Juliet waited for Romeo. .
Cinderella waited for Prince Charming. .
Sleeping Beauty slept until Prince arrived. .
Snow White got saved by a kiss. .

They asked me to wait. . Wait. . Wait again. .
Coz' no one knew if this one was the one for me. .
Early. . They said too early. .
But wasn't that I could tell if this was the one?

Coz' after all,
I have become too vulnerable,
fearing what they said would come true. .

P.S. THIS IS THE TENSE CAUSE ME TO SHOP HEAVILY WITHOUT THINKING.

Ran Away

2009-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

Don't stop.
Don't look back.
Just hold my hands tight.

Even we have no destination
just trust me.

Love
makes us give up what we have.

But is it worth?

No definite answer.

Can't Figure It Out

2009-10-02T02:20:00.000-07:00

Yes. .
It is hard to accept a transaction
of Life. .

Everyday the same routine. . But it is a lot more free than Chung Hua. . I can still remember that everyday morning, sitting in Eric's class and talking to him 'bout how i feel day after day. .' It has been awhile and I can feel the distance is even longer and further from my friends. Hmmm. . .

On the first day, sitting outside the class waiting, even they are just in front of me, but we are still strangers. . But now i make some new friends like "Chau Ped Ped", Tangki, ChrisDog, Alton and "Techno Kid". . Seeing them chattering, it makes me miss my friends, those days of happiness. . Sigh. .

I do not expect to meet someone who is equivalent to them here though. . Coz' I know no matter what, those friends that I met in Chung Hua, are those who accompanied me through my primary school life. . Well, guys, I really miss you !!! Hope everything is fine. . And sorry that I am really busy with things now. .

Sigh. . .

This two days are very bored. . *SERIOUSLY*
Cuz *Somebody's handphone is run out of credit. .
Sigh. . Damn boring. .

Tomorrow i think i'll going to Parkson cuz it's the time to buy present. .
I've wasting too much time on those stupid tuition. .
This cause i didn't have the time to buy it. .

And today's football match was completely SUCKS!?!?
Don't even enter the semi-final match. . Wad the ****

Nevermind. . Just hope that tomorrow plan's will be fine as i think. : )

Rule, The.

2009-09-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

It always feels like,
there's a rule,
manipulating this world. .

When you meet your love,
she is either
no interests in you,
or preoccupied. .

When someone confess to you,
telling you how important you are to him,
but you tell yourself,
you deserve better. .

Or,

two people fallen in deep love,
wanting to believe,
how perfectly suitable they are
for each other. .

Under the challenge of time,
interests die,
perfection fades. .
And love wears out. .

In the end,
either the situation of,
I love You, You love Him. .
We are still alone,
facing and dealing with this rule of nature. .

Solo

2009-09-15T02:51:00.000-07:00

I used to play it all by myself.

Until I learn about something called 'Companionship'.

Too bad for now,
Coz' I will have to carry on all by myself now.

Happy Endings

2009-09-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone in this world wishes to have a happy ending for their lives. .
However, some do not have happy endings. .

But is that what kind of ending so important? Or God just want to make it interesting for people to ask?

Coz' happy endings are so predictable and boring. .

While I never want a happy ending coz' I like the taste of tears. .

Fading

2009-09-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

There are impatient times,
where I would rather just stick to someone randomly. .

So please tell me that it is all worth waiting for. .
So please assure me that it's the correct one that would come. .

So that,
I would know where to find my security. .

Please talk to me and do not let me feel sad inside. .
Will you?

Fallen Asleep

2009-09-11T07:00:00.001-07:00

不知不觉
发现自己
已不像以前那么有耐心了。

等着等着. .

在没有你的怀里，
睡着了. .

可能是因为
害怕接受没有你的事实，

所以才逼自己
到梦里寻找
属于自己的你。

English Version:

Unknowingly,
realised that
I was no longer that patient anymore. .

Waiting. . .

and fall asleep
without your presence. .

Maybe because
I scared to admit
the fact that you're gone,

and forced myself
to find my only you
in my dreams. .

False Alarm

2009-09-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

I felt vibrations
at my fingers. .

*Maybe is you ! ! !

Quickly,
grabbed my phone
from my pocket. .

*Aww. . .*
It's an advertisement message. .

Now you know how much
you are to me right?

So
CALL ME OR MESSAGE ME
your spontaneous way
coz' I like it. .

Gosh,
it's a false alarm. .

Forest Gump

2009-09-05T01:40:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've been emotionally touched by a movie I'd randomly see. Have you ever heard of a movie by Tom Hanks with the title of this post?

Forest Gump. . A beautiful, unique piece of work. . Such fine actors and actresses accompanied by a spectacular storyline, amazed and touched every inch of my soul. . It did. . By the way, sent shivers down my spine. I wish I was more like Forest, innocent and never strays away too far from what he's supposed to think. . Then I realized that no matter how much you've gained in life, thought on the surface you'd portray happiness, deep down in your little tiny heart you're never satisfied. . Humans - we're never satisfied with what we have. .It's just the way we are. .

If someone wasn't selfish enough, nobody would be labelled as "too poor". If someone could have just gave something, they wouldn't even have to come up with the word "war". . If somebody could have lent a helping hand, then nobody would be feeling a little "lost"...

I couldn't see the outline of my life. . I've got big dreams but nothing to reach them..*yet* Because I'm such a liar that I feel scared to believe that I could do it. . What if everything I've ever wanted to do just turned out as a big fat lie to myself? What if I was thrown out by my own dreams and fell into some place where nobody could save me and not even myself?

I hope things would turn out as they should, and I hope the world will always spin around in a circle. . Cos if it would spin in complicated ways and turned all topsy turvey, I sure don't want to be the first to fall. .

If you haven't watched this, please do search for it. . I can tell you that it's worth while. . Give yourself some brain washing sessions and I do hope things would work out for you. .

The Random One

2009-08-31T01:15:00.000-07:00

I sit alone and watch at the clock. .
Trying to collect my thoughts. .
All I think about is you. .
And so I cry myself to sleep. .
Hoping the devil don't meet me in the dreams that I live through. .

All the smiles you've had to fake. .
And all the bullshit you've had to take. .
I never have the things to say. .
To make it all just go away. .

Believe in me. .
You know i waited for so long. . P.S

Stay back or Move On

2009-08-20T06:09:00.000-07:00

I miss talking to you like how we use to. . Things just happenned randomly in my life. .

I'm not sure how i really felt right now. .

I'm completely numb. . F*ck off !!!

All i know is that i live my life everyday trying my best to make myself occupied. .

Should i move on or stay back?

Roots

2009-08-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

One, Two, Three.
One by one,
it goes on. .

Life,
can be seen with many dots. .
But once we reach the next dot,
we always forget the previous one. .

Coz' we move on,
and never look back. .
Not even do pausing. .

Yes. .
It'd been long time
since I finished my primary school. .

And then

Prom,
Christmas,
Chinese New Year,
Test Results,
Music Course,
Miri,
Perth,
That Someone,
Now,
My hometown. .

Yes. .i have been doing lots and lots of moving-ons. .

I swear I never pause. .

But now. .
I have to get back to my roots. .
To where I find all my passions
about this Life Tree. .

Roots. .
I will have to know how to get to you,
without hurting the tree itself. .

Forgive Me. . P.S

To Someone. .

2009-08-16T03:24:00.000-07:00

Every time I think of you,
there is a sudden period of happiness. .
From the first sight I caught of you. .

Somehow,
I knew that you are someone
who will own part of my heart. .
There are feelings I cannot explain,
no matter how hard I try. .

If I were to say 'I Need You',
am I too selfish and childish?
If I were to say "I Love You',
am I too silly and naive?

Me : "Wine, get me some now. ."

To distract my affection on you. .
To stray away my thoughts of you. .
To let me wake up in the morning without imagining you beside me. .
To not having me to think where you are whenever i need you. .
They are between 'Need' and 'Love'. . *SERIOUSLY*

So uncertain and surreal. .
But I really need to clear it out now. .

And move on. .

Night-Dreaming

2009-08-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

There were supposed to be a 'us'.
It's all different now. .

Riding the train with no destination,
Cuz' you were the decisive one. .
So I just sat there,
and fall asleep
while night dreaming. .

It was that room,
with a window by the bed.
Early morning,
the two of us under the sheets,
soundlessly asleep. .

Then it was your moist lips,
woke me up. .

I saw your face,
I felt your touch,
I sensed your love. .

It was great. .
To have you around. .

He patted on my shoulder. .
and I woke up out of surprise. .

I missed your face,
I needed your touch,
I craved for your love. .

Now,
there was only me,
with my pathetic night-dreaming,
trying to feel your existence. .

Shit. .

2009-07-28T01:58:00.000-07:00

So it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. . I did not end up deafening the crowd with my infectious disease noise effects after all. . When assembly, Richard told us that tomorrow everybody must wear MASK because the H1N1 disease is getting serious. . Chung Hua is going to close for 1 week cause of the infection. . *JEALOUS*

Today there's a few of my classmates didn't turn up to school. . I feel bored in the class. . No people accompany me to play with those "Di-Di" sweet. . XD

That's all i wanna say today. . =D

2009-07-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

We got grey sticky toilet papers. .

AND. . We also have grey-watered toilets and grey mouthwash and I got a grey cup and a grey bag and a grey container for my face products and to top it of, I'm wearing GREY!
Ignore that. . That was just a random thing. . I actually saw more grey stuff in the bathroom but I can't remember them so screw that. . Anyway, Well, actually I'm blogging 'cos of all that grey stuff. . I don't really know what else to say. . Hmm. .for the sack of my readers, I shall.... THINK!

*moment of silence*
............
............
............
............
............
............
I GOT IT !!! Do you know that if you sleep extra 2 hours everyday you eat less food? Which means, slimming! *gives fist punch* Haha. . Okay, that was totally lame. . Still a bit not so get use to it in Riam. .but nevermind. . OH! There's many type of food and drinks at there too. . *with sparkling eyes* XD

Tomorrow wanna going to school. .bla bla bla. . Going to meet Ah Tak there too : )
Hmm. .still thinking the days that i'm at Chung Hua. . So freedom and totally SUCKS!!!! Haha. .

Maths test tomorrow, chapter 8 till 12. . Gotta catch up cuz that's the one and only math test for periodic :3
And I don't have a single clue. .

Honestly, I prefer chapter tests. .

Thanks to some boys in the class who whine a lot like female dogs, the math teacher decided not to give us chapter tests anymore. . Yapee ^^

Are you living your dreams? XD

Heart grow fonder

2009-07-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

Disconnected feeling lingers on. .

It's hard to constantly deal with the thought in my head. . The doubts, the emotions. Despite this, I'm making an effort to kick the "!@#$" attitude and trust your promises with my all as I know my reaction to the distance worries you. . I'm aware of that. .
We'll go through the expected ups and downs, I can predict. .
But I know, everything's going to be alright. .
Cause I've learned, though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for love doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart. .

"Do you want me to tell you something? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

Sudden Goodbye

2009-06-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

I feel sad for Michael Jackson Boohoo. . T.T
Just suddenly pass away from a heart attack disease. .but he already planned a concert that will be held at L.A. . Dissapointed :(
I like your Thriller and Beat It. .and MoonWalk too. . XD
I guess you'll be a legend in everyone's heart. .

Picture~

2009-06-23T06:38:00.000-07:00

On 21st of June. .that's mean on Sunday. .i got a performance at Eastwood Valley. . I just take a few picture at there. .

Those kids are "pro-fessional" on this. .

Me, Caroline, and Aunt Katie. .

Me. .Me. .Me. . Did you see me???

I'm in the dark. .

What a gorgeous lamp!@#$

Me with my mum. .

Beside of me is Aunt Kee. .

If I had something better to do, i'd be doing it. .

2009-06-19T02:54:00.000-07:00

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Melvin
2. Mel
3. Vin (:

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Worked part time at Daddy's office.
2. Your every day slacker of a student (or not)
3. The Ohh so loving son/brother/friend/person. . Haha. .

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Miri
2. Miri
3. And oh, did I mention Miri?

But Singapore is some what considered as my second home too. .

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. 90210. . I am an addict *SERIOUSLY*
2. The entire line up of Monday Night Laughs. . What can I say, I enjoy a good laugh. .
3. Heroes. . But then again, i missed two whole seasons which sucks. . But can't deny the fact I think it's an awesome series. .

THREE PLACES HAVE BEEN (with friends)
1. Parkson
2. Piasau Boat Club
3. Gcm

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Spain, I mean, I got their blood in me please.Well,at least 1/4 of it.Close enough.
2. Russia. . Somehow I have the urge to.
3. Perth ! To visit Aunt Boonie ! I miss you !

Ohh, and practically cover every inch of Europe, Rome, Italy, Turkey. . You name it!

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Turkish food! Their Kebabs are amazing, now just remember to stay for the mouth watering desserts!
2. Japanese food, I can never resist soy sauce coated salmon. .
3. Italian Chow! Pasta is the favourite. .

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. To get over with PMR and UEC.
2. Rainforest Music Festival, IF I am actually allowed to go. .sulks. .
3. Heading back to Tennis. . I mean, I haven't touched my racket for 3 weeks now! I predict this won't be good, at all!

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Adorable Rottweilers when I was still a toddler. .
2. ChaCha. . Jack Russell Terriers who sadly ran away! ):
3. Homework the cat. . Who also ran away~

THREE FRIENDS WHO WILL REPLY
1. no clue
2. no clue
3. no clue

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS
1. David Cook, ALL THE WAY!
2. Lady Gaga is the smex!
3. Akon

Did you know Lady Gaga was a bisexual?? I never did, till Hades(Gummy) told me *jaw dropping news*

THREE FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
1. Tennis,when I'm in the mood. . (Wait,I'm never in the mood)
2. Swimming, as long as there's Michael Phelps. . His butterfly events are "Wow"
3. Hmm, can American Idol be categorized as a sport? Haha. .

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. Any type of fruit juice.
2. Berries Smoothie.
3. C2. . The every school day must have. .Haha. .

Teacher's Day

2009-06-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

Heloo everyone. . Our school is in chaos condition cause today is TEACHER'S DAY !!! Isn't that sounds great ?? I had taken a lot of pics for my good memories. . Me and my friends disagree to go to assembly, so we stay in class till we are bored. . Then we blow some balloons and we invented " The La-La Land Hat". . *Sparkling*
Let me show you those pics i had taken. .

Ohh ya. .sorry for the rudeness :-P

And i think Ah Seng still thinking of "2J' during the party. .

The mighty king of balloon "Calvin"~~~~

Darwin use to be so proud that his face have some glittering things. .

Beginnings

2009-06-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

Definitely been a while since I've blogged. . I have no clue what-soever on where I should start from. .
So many unexpected and surprisingly taken-off-guard events had happened. .
First of all, the Perth trip was astounding without a doubt. . The wide variety of food you don't see in Asia, the scenery, and just about everything. . That makes me never forget the four seasons difference. . My shopping list has also been fulfilled. . *huge grin on my face* Let me tell you this, factory outlets over at Aussie are just so worth it! You can get Roxy, Billabong or Rip Curl's tops, purses, flip flops and bags for a measly 15 bucks or so each!? Brands such as Adidas,Nike,Levi's and Esprit have some pretty amazing deals as well. . Now don't get me started on tennis equipment. . Haha. .
Although there were a couple of left outs like dri-fit shirts and Rip Curl's, but despite such my inventory is definitely well stocked with more items and this thrills me just about enough. .
Moving on, I have been planning to get a new phone. . And it's none other than. . .

The Blackberry Bold !!! Since I now have what seems to be touch screen phone-phobia. . It's better I lay off the fancy screens now. . And say a sexy hello to the cool keyboards : )
~~Now, I have a slight feeling it's the exact same phone as my dad's. . It's either this or the Blackberry Curve, can't tell.~~ . It's definitely the exact same phone, had a brief look just now. . But after going through overviews, this phone is just a babe please. . Agreed? So doesn't matter if I wanna get the same phone as my dad. .
And I've saved the best for last. . * Be prepared*
I know I've made such comments like I won't get into relationships and all. .
But I guess the walls of my boundaries came crumbling down once again. .
No, not because I can't keep promises to myself and is a complete sucker for love, but because I've decided to not hold onto fright and give myself a second chance. .
And I must say it's amazing to let someone into my life once more, one whom I can pour my feelings to, gives a listening ear and isn't ready to rush into things when I wasn't ready. . His honesty, straight forwardness and just the way she makes me feel. . There's just a righteous explanation to all this. .
We use to stay up for hours for chatting, and I love how it takes us forever to say bye, not because we're spending time typing sappy love saying, but because it really just is hard to leave all the talking for the coming day. .
She shows me a sense of difference, compared to my last. .i guess second chances really are worth it, depending on the person you're giving it to. . And well distance doesn't matter either, eventhough it's saddening of course that face to face communication can't be made considering the city difference. . But hey, it's worth a shot. . And so far, i must say it's been worth the try. .

Jet Lag

2009-06-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in Singapore, arrived on Wednesday night and was welcomed with opened arms, along with the very very cute gifts from my Aunt Bonnie. . Thanks a plenty for the tanks and tees. . Well, basically today was a complete bored as I stayed in the hotel for entire day. . My visit to Queenstown was leaving me to an entire tedious day catching up on the Zzzz-es. . Extremely tired of it. . After we meet my cousin. .there's some more cousin which are staying at Perth that we need visit. . Sometimes, i will think that i got many cousin that live at Western's side. . If i'm not wrong. .
Unexpectedly, as I thought our trip would have been later on. Without a doubt, I am indeed excited as this would be my first time checking out Western Aussie. Places of interest so far: Swan Bell Tower, Fremantle, Perth City, Pinnacles Desert, The Maze and Perth Mint. The only down sides are
1. Our day would start at 5 a.m for 3 days there
2. And it's a possible 8 degrees at night due to the fact it's winter at the moment. .So the thought of visiting Rottnest Island may not be possible. . I mean, what's an island if there isn't the sun and surf? Am I right?

Till then. . .
XXX
missing you guys. .
Piccas of Perth, by the looks of it, not so bad don't you think?

Funny Mime =D

2009-05-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

Holiday are blurring my Senses

2009-05-31T03:18:00.000-07:00

Every needed information blanks out from my mind, like printed words escaping from a novel on distress. New and rather fresh feelings are replacing my corners with immediate effects, lifting my spirits as I twirl down the path, accompanied with smiles and sunshine.

After an entire week of revision and stoning in class for probably 1 hour or more. .
(My God. .that was complete nonsense. .) I'm officially done with semester 1! Read my lips, DONE with the 17 papers. . I swear, the tension of doing absolutely nothing while waiting for time to tick by is unbelievably annoying. I felt almost dead, decaying away as I sat perfectly still,eyes never leaving the clock as I counted the minutes left.Okay,maybe not perfectly still,there were a couple of giggles here and then but other than that,my brain shut down as cricket sounds echoed in the background.The only sensible word that flashed in my mind was,TERM BREAK!
For now, my body is rejecting every form of studying material. I can't even be bothered to lift a finger to hold onto a pen. I don't care about it too much, I just want to feels the sweet sweet taste of freedom on every single taste bud.

Fortunately, I'll be spending some holidays in Singapore, from the 5nd till 12th of June. But fret not, I'll still update every now and then when I get the sufficient time to. Every fiber and bone in me can't resist the sinful pleasures of shopping till my limbs ache. It's going to be cool! Plus, I've been wanting to get my hands on new items since forever. . Just to name a few. .

1.Hawaii's pants
2.Huge pencil case
3.New shoes
4.New bags
5.New sunglasses
6.Flip-flops

That's just the least of it. Hope mum's able to handle my massive list of to-do's and wants, in a emotional way. Haha : ) Lastly, I just want to wish you all a very happy first term break. Be it if you're staying in Miri or traveling, take this time with love ones or simply take in the comfort of slack-ing while you still can. . I sure know I will. .(and i'll hope "she" will chat with me while i'm in Singapore) :D *kicks back and relax*

Wherever You will go then my hearts will Go.

2009-05-29T02:38:00.000-07:00

So lately, i've been wondering. .
If I could go wherever you will go. . No matter there's way up high or down low. .

And maybe, I'll find out a way to make it back somedays. .
To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days. .
If a huge wave shall fall and fall upon us all. .
Well then, I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you. .

I don't wanna run away with my heart,
Run away with my hope,
Run away with my love.

I know now, just quite how. .
My life and love might still go on. .
In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of the time. .
If i can go back into time. .i will go wherever you will go. . *SERIOUSLY*

I'm losing it, so let's go crazy.

2009-05-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I so love the finale of American idol with all the excitement and anxiety.

Basically, studies are hogging most of my time nowadays. I practically feels like a book slut, seriously. So first thing first, I CANNOT BELIEVE ADAM DIDN'T WIN! I thought Adam can win it, but my friend-Gummy told me that Chris had won it. F*ck!?

People,we are referring to Adam, as in the oh so charismatic, heart piercing vocals, attention capturing, too pretty for a guy's face Adam! Despite this, I must say, I'll give Kris props for the fact he's a talented college student who was able to transform himself from timid to what he is today, the person who won the American Idol 2009 title. *SIGH*

On the other hand, Adam has done theatrical shows before. But will always be that awesome rocker who captured the hearts of many. Rock on! All in all, this year's American Idol finale was by far the best out of the 8 seasons. Lets see what 2010 has in store for us now shall we? xD

Quote of the day : Caroline : I'm just here to tell you. .IN YOUR FACE! Chris won. *lets out a laugh*

Wow, thanks a lot Bel. Rubbing it in my face really did the trick! Surprisingly, I was able to make it through the second day of mid terms. So subjects down, 3 more to go. The compositions weren't deathly, but History was practically murderous, no joke. Firstly, we were assigned to refresh our memories on Form 1 and 2's chapters. Secondly,the questions were tricky, thus making it hard for us to make up our minds on the definite answer. Furthermore, the horrified and rather aggresive looks from my tuition teacher when she checked my answers weren't helping much either. She even threatened to knock me in the head for my careless mistakes.

Well, only time will tell how I really did in the test. *Fingers tightly crossed*

Anyways, I honestly think all this pressure is getting to my head. But I've learned how to handle it in an orderly manner. .laugh it off with your friends, who at the moment are seemingly as mentally challenged as I am. Oh, venting anger on someone innocent helps too. .Haha. . I know I'm far too evil but whatever~

Hurt

2009-05-21T01:19:00.001-07:00

I can't accept to face the truth,
But i have to. .
Love is such a misery,
But i won't let it go if there's a day i alive. .
True be told, i miss you. .
True be told, i am lying. .

--

In the morning i saw you walk up the staircase. .and i planned to say "Good Morning" to you. But something strange happens. .that my mouth seems like don't wanna open. . Tinkling beside my ear*maybe this is a type of natural phenomenon*
Nah. .what an excuse. .i'm such a coward. .
Everytimes when i wants to sleep. .i will think about the things that i had done. .
"Why i will fall in love with her?" This sentence keeps floating in my mind. .

*BIG SIGH*
Love is not easily to get. .
I'm deeply hurt in this love. . But i won't let go of it. .
If we can be best friend. .that's enough. . SERIOUSLY!
Cause i wanna be your hostess expectations. .

Just Lose Control

2009-05-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hello world, the sun rays are filtered out by the curtains and my head is in the clouds.
This injury of mine is dreadful. But at least there are signs of recovery, all I'm worried about now are the sudden appearance of bruises. But that's not going to stop me, soon as the swell subsides fully, so be it I will return to the courts and start training, full swing ahead!?
And judging from my above attached picture, surely it isn't slowing me down from climbing around furniture and the lonely nights away.
Okay, on to the rather serious matter. *Mid Term examinations* Oh my Gosh are they knocking on the piling stress door. Well, not that I'm yanking any hair out from my head at the moment, but soon enough it's going to hit me (lets say this Wednesday night). Damn.
What can I say, I'm known for being very last minute. Not something I'm proud of but heck, it's hard to change a person's natural habit. Agreed? *shake your head*
Oh, and to do my indecisive mind in even more, next week's going to be American Idol rising of the next superstar (which i so think is going to be Adam Lambert*bias tone) week. And although the results are rather clear, that doesn't exactly mean I'll miss it for the world. So hell yeah juggling A~ I and revision will be tough, judging from the fact Orchestra practise is scheduled on the first day. *lets out a long 'da-yem*
But whatever, I'll make time for both, I can manage that.
I suppose. Agreed? =P

Damn Boring >.<

2009-05-16T04:01:00.000-07:00

Should i tell you,
That i love you?
Should i always,
Talk with you?
Arghh. .dunno what i'm thinking about. .
Damn boring today. .
Nothing to do. .
Just chat with her for awhile. .
Other time just for study at home. .
Going mad~

God Loves Us =D

2009-05-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

Have I a heart of stone,
So cold and dark within.
That I can view the Savior;
In anguish for my sin.
And never sorrow feel,
For all he sacrificed?
Have I got a heart of stone,
To watch the bleeding Christ?

Have I no eyes to see,
That I can stand so near.
And watch the Savior wounded
But never shed a tear?
Can I but coldly gaze,
upon his painful loss?
Have I no eyes to see,
God's Lamb upon the cross?

As I behold the blood,
And view the Crucified.
The piercing thought overwhelms me.
Twas for my sin He died!
Lord make my heart to feel,
Thy suffering on the tree.
Lord break this heart of stone,
And make my eyes to see.

Well, this song spoke to my heart for awhile, and even now it still does. How in today's society everything is just so available for us, where we do not need to do anything to earn it to get it. Our heart somehow hardened against the things of God when his Word, actions and grace was freely extended to us. Some of us even hear the truths so much that we reject them even more the when we hear it another time. How wicked the human heart is, and Jeremiah 17:9 explained it so thoroughly. . I can go on and on, but I'm pretty sure that you all are getting what I'm saying. . How cold our hearts is for the things of God, and how our heart longs and craves for the things of the world, how sad. . And whatever I say, applies to me as well. .

I was at Uncle Morris's place today, and am just so glad to spend time talking with him. . We shared on many stuff thats happening in our lives and God just blessed that time, truly enjoyed his company and he's always a man that I look up to for the things he did for God, how he live his life really impacted me. .And even through this, I know that God is always in the picture, for he can do nothing apart from God. .

We watched 2 online sermons, the first one was 8 mins though, can't really remember the Preacher's name but it was great! Talked about God who is so high above wanting to dwell with anyone who desires to seek him. The other one is none other than Paul Washer, which I suggested that we should watch. .I've seen it for at least 3 times already, and each time I caught it, somehow God used that to speak to my heart and challenged me to love him more day by day.
The message that stir my heart for the day is. .

The most important thing is not about knowing Christ personally,
It is whether Christ knows you personally =P

Hope that this post bless your heart =D

Surprise!?

2009-05-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

" Hiding the Donuts~ "

" The Big-Apple Babeh. ."

Hmm. .after going back home from Cassandra's party. .
I sit inside my car and i got an idea in my head. . Thinking tat i need to give my mummy a surprise cuz tomorrow is Mother's Day rite?
So i ask my daddy fetch me to the Hottest Donuts Shop - "Big Apple" :PS
Luckily when i reach there i saw there only left a few "flock" of people. . =P
So i choose and choose and choose then*Tra-La* finally complete my quest. .
When i reaching home. .i saw my mummy sitting at living room watching tv. .
So i ask my daddy help me wrap the box then we both act naturally going into the house. .
Phew~ i finally pass. .

The next morning i woke up then take the surprise things out from refrigerator. .
And went in front of my mum. .

"Melvin : Happy Mother's Day !?!? "
" Mum : Wow~ Thanks :D "

Wish all the Mother in the World have a great Day and Happy Mother's Day!!!

Shall i carry on?

2009-05-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

I don't feel myself, nor do I feel whole. That extra beat to my heart or a slight change in behaviour. This without a doubt,isn't the Melvin I used to know. . And I can't help but wonder why the change, why now? But every vein in me is denying that possible cause. .
But somehow, there's that slight whisper tinkling in my ear: Stop fooling yourself, you know why.
--
Okay. .practically for the time being, all the horrendous projects and endless revision is doing my head in. .and all this poor time management of mine just makes things worse. Yet, I don't know how I'm still able to commit entirely to my activities and social life. Not saying I like being anti social or whatever, it's just with what I have to go through. .i should really be focusing rather than staying up late at night doing the usual non sense. .I haven't the slightest nervous feeling in me despite the fact everything's around the very corner. .This I do not understand.
And lately,it's as though my energy's draining from my system,literally of course. Sometimes, I just wish I owned a time machine, so time could be paused at my very will,allowing me to fit everything into my schedule. .Hahh =D

Enjoy It ^^

2009-05-07T01:55:00.001-07:00

What's Wrong With Me?

2009-05-07T00:10:00.000-07:00

Honestly!?
I don't know what's happening to me. .

I can't think right,
I can't eat right,
I can't walk right,
I can't feel right too. .

I don't know what's wrong with me. .
I keep getting headaches. .
I also keep receiving messages in forms of dreams or thoughts that I'm dying. .
Am I Thinking too much or is my end just near?
I feel feverish at times and I feel hot even when It's get cold. .

I don't know what I'm saying at times,
And everything is just a blur. . *mumbling*

I can't feel anything at times,
And yet, sometimes. .i feel so much pain, misery && stress. .

One second I feel Happy High And Crazy,
And another, I feel Sad, Depressed And Quiet. . PS

2009-05-04T01:38:00.000-07:00

If love is a labor. . I'll slave til' the end. .

I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand. .

Thank you so much. .

i would never have known love if it wasn't for you. .

i would never have known of how strong LOVE can be if it wasn't for you. .

i would never have known of such happiness if it wasn't for you. .

i would never have known so little and so much about myself if it wasn't for you. .

Class like hell >.<

2009-05-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

Today my class dunno why feels like in hell. .somebody cry. .somebody feel sad. .and crazy too(ah Tak)~ Haiz. .why like that de lerh??? Is it the effect of love?or maybe not. .just got somekinda of feeling. . Anyway. .i just wanna hope this class will become peacefully and all friends are sitting together talking those bullshit dota or maple. .HaHax~

Donuts. . i'm comin. .

2009-05-01T05:07:00.000-07:00

Aren't you just dying to take a bite out of these simply sinful sugary pleasures??
Well I know I am : )
Big Apple Donuts and Coffee will have their official opening ceremony 2day at Bintang Plaza!!! And the deal is. .the first 100 customers would receive free donuts!!!
And judging from that news. .it wouldn't be much of a surprise if Parkson was jam packed with screaming infants with their parents and a lot of teenagers. .
But it's alright, I shall spare them and not go all pushy or "get out of my way b-i-t-c-h" at B.Apple. .Haha. .And if luck isn't on my side today,guess I'll just buy a couple for myself and family before heading back home. .
Oh ya. .and my mummy just bought all lot of clothes at Detaj Culture cuz it's havin 50% discount for all clothes. .i'm carrying many bags of clothes. .like idiot =P

Damn. .

2009-04-30T00:33:00.001-07:00

2day so damn man. .get scolded by many people by chat-box. . Damn. .
i wondering who's the damn kid hacking my blog. . Damn. .
if i know tat person. .i will finish him/her off. . Damn. .
Keep saying damn. . ****